Hermain Cain got himself caught in the gay-media and political net when he remarked how homosexuality was a choice. It caused lots of hoopla as it was homophobic and went against the new mantra instilled by Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way.” Even as I disagree with his commentary, I like the root of his idea: choice.
I make lots of choices everytime that I have sex. The choices include: partner’s hair color, physical appearance, age, etc, and to use a condom (always!), style, type of sexual acts, etc. I find sex filled with lots of choices. It always starts with the first choice that I always seem to choose a man. Gay-for-pay porn stars make choices in their behaviors too!
LGBT activists have gotten bogged down in trying to scientifically prove that homosexuality is real and folks are “born this way.” I am mistrustful of science because of how it has been used to justify homophobia, eugenics, racism, etc. I would instead like to change the conversation to an issue of “freedom of choice.” As long as the partner is consenting, why can’t I have sex with them regardless of their gender? I see no reason why I have to prove my eligibility to choose.
It’s easier to find allies when we change the discussion around freedom rights vs. going a more defensive right of proving our scientific existence. Only THIS year did the scientific community agree that bisexual men are really bisexual. I don’t see any reason to have to prove I exist. When will there be a memo that we now have to have scientific proof of identities in order to organize around them?
If I had a chance to chat with folks like Cain, then I would say: “Yes, I did chose to have sex, and what is the problem with it? Why can’t consenting adults have the FREEDOM to chose their sexual practice? Isn’t America the land of the free?”