Miss Virginia: Pretty Ugly

This mom's take on gay slurs and roommate bullying.
Lilian Studevant
November 16, 2011

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poteet

You may have heard a couple weeks back when Nikki Poteet, our 2011 Miss Virginia, got caught up in some unwanted drama after reportedly throwing a drunken temper tantrum complete with homophobic slurs.

It actually made the local news and has been reported on by Think Progress. Folks are calling for her crown. What do I think? We are not “pageant people” so I went surfing for information in an effort to present a thoughtful answer.

Reportedly there are many duties that come with the Miss Virginia title, but the main ones include traveling around the state and nation promoting the Miss Virginia Pageant and their personal platform. The rules, regulations and standards look light to me. It would seem that almost any never-married female, meeting residency requirements and willing to claim good health and moral character can sign up to be judged. That last sentence is pretty subjective.

The pageant folks have said it’s all here-say and since she is friends with the gay person in their office no action will be taken. Are they right? Are they wrong? How do you know?

I know the police were called out to the house by the roommate subjected to the slurs and a report was filed. I don’t know any more beyond that but strongly suspect there will be no court as a result of the complaint. Is that enough to toss her on her arse? What if the slurs were anti-Semitic? Directed towards black people? Would it be different? I don’t think so.

If I get in a fight with a roommate (drunk or not) and call them a n***** I might get my butt kicked but likely won’t face any legal action.

I think she should lose her crown simply because those actions do not show good moral character however, I also realize you don’t typically lose your job for being an asshat in your personal life…Look at Bill Clinton. He was a good President but I will NEVER condone cheating on your partner or spouse. I asked my son…He called it out as bullying. He expressed that bullying is dangerous and hurts people and is illegal. He thinks whether you use the F-word or the N-word the scars are the same and bullying should never be tolerated.

So at our house we do think in theory she should lose her crown but realize that is unrealistic. Perhaps our energy will be better directed educating folks on diversity and equality and highlighting folks that demonstrate those values.

    Lillian Studevant is a working professional and mother of three. She is passionate about animals and rescues dogs in addition to two of her own. Follow more of her family's adventures on her Personal Blog.