Ahead of Same-sex Marriage Victory, Delegates Push To End All Virginia Marriages
(Photo Left Del. Gilbert, Right Del. Marshall)
Editor’s note -2/17/14 10PM - We should nip this in the bud, this story is a piece of satire (it had been marked as satire and fake news since it was posted earlier this afternoon).
We got quite a response to this piece, and the scariest part is how many people believe what was written below was possible.
I’d never try to fool an audience – People might believe it’s true, some have even suggested it could give Del. Marshall ideas to try such a thing (like a politician in OK has suggested) but the point of a satire is to blend the surreal with reality to focus the lens on ourselves.
GayRVA isn’t The Onion, but, like a newspaper, its opinion and editorial page should be asking people to think about the decisions they make and the decisions they allow legislators to make. I thought the piece, albeit dramatically, nailed the point on the head, a point that many people shy away from – the very real comparisons between the struggle for LGBTQ rights and the struggle for civil rights in the 50’s and 60’s.
Virginia’s GA has taken steps do to block everyone from a public service in order to block it from a minority group before, whats to stop them from trying it now? You might disagree, and if you do I’d love to get a written response from you about your concerns and publish in the Op/Ed section.
Sorry for the confusion, thanks for reading,
-BK – Editor@gayrva.com
In a move harking back to the segregation era “massive resistance” movement, members of the Virginia General Assembly have entered a bill asking the state of Virginia to deny all marriages, heterosexual and otherwise.
“We refuse to accept this, and we’ll be damned if we see our state’s moral authority dragged in the mud!” said Del. Bob Marshall (R-Manassas) “We’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again, but this time it’ll stick!”
Marshall spoke at a press conference at the General Assembly building earlier today in response to last week’s Federal Judge ruling which struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. He was flanked by Delegate C. Todd Gilbert, R- Shenandoah.
Gilbert, who has repeatedly shut down attempts by Democrats to include protections for LGBTQ employees in the workplace, said the new bill called “Our Way or No Way” accurately reflects the way Virginia voters felt eight years ago when they approved the constitutional ban against same-sex marriage.
“Things don’t change,” said Gilbert. “And I’ll be damned if I let some Northern Virginia liberal force my county clerks to accept marriage licenses and then offer happily married same-sex couples the same rights and benefits offered to millions of legally married straight couples.”
The specifics of the bill detail a plan to remove all power from the state to issue any kind of marriage license to any couple. It also voids all current marriage licenses issued by Virginia. “This takes power away from the government, which is something we all are into anyway,” said Marshall. “So it’s pretty much a win-win for us.”
In 1958, following the landmark Brown Vs. Board of Education ruling which ended segregation in schools, some Virginia elected officials passed laws closing schools rather than opening them up to black students. Called the “Massive Resistance,” much of the legislation was overturned by federal courts within the year, but it has left a lasting bruise on Virginia’s history.
When Marshall and Gilbert were asked about about the comparison, they both said “Shut up.”
“It’s about keeping our children safe from the gays, and the tomboys, and from the Europeans!” shouted Marshall. “This is nothing like that, this isn’t racist, gay people aren’t a race!”
Marshall went on to say he has “plenty of black friends,” and he even has a “Mexican woman cleaning his house.”
The bill is expected to pass the House’s Laws and Ways committee and is sure to be fast tracked on the House floor. The Delegates have shared the legislation with lawmakers in other states and are hoping to see similar laws created across the South. “If we can organize the Southern States for massive resistance to this order, I think that in time the rest of the country will realize that same-sex marriage is not going to be accepted in the South,” said Gilbert.
When asked for comment, Attorney General Mark Herring and Governor Terry McAuliffe released the following statement:
Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage is still in place and has a number of legal steps to take before it is fully removed from the law books. First it will enter a Richmond appeals court and it is expected to be sent all the way to the Supreme Court, along with many other challenges to state bans, by 2015.
Tim is a writer, video game nerd, and music fan. You'll see him at shows, or you wont really see him at all.
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