Sometimes you need a little help with that special someone. You guys met a few weeks ago at that art opening and hit it off swimmingly! Now, two weeks on and twenty texts later, you both plan to be at the same place at the same time.
Perhaps you’re meeting at that bar by your house, maybe a mutual friend’s cocktail party. Regardless, it’s going to be your chance to seal the deal; to get ‘em alone, and finally bump uglies. However, there’s just one catch. You don’t know each other very well, and you’re not on date status just yet.
All you know is that you want only your best attributes to shine, and given this public domain, you might need some assistance. So begins your search for a winger, someone to smooth those rough patches that, no doubt, will come up. Be they male or female, you must choose wisely. Your sex life may depend on it!
Well, fear not. Booty Jams Podcast is here to help!
There are four primary points of interest when seeking an appropriate wingwoman or man:
Your winger must:
1) Have a general aura of ugly.
2) Stay observant.
3) Keep the creepy on the DL.
4) Know the exit strategy.
First and foremost, your winger simply cannot look better than you. Now, don’t be too hasty and base your entire decision on looks alone. Of course, all of your friends are beautiful in their own way, but tonight is your night. Just ask your pal to tone it down a bit. No need to wear that fresh new outfit they bought earlier this week. No need to do that ‘smokey eyes’ thing they just learned from that tutorial on Youtube. No need to shower really. Just make sure you’re the one that shines. And of course, depending on your interest’s orientation you might want to bring someone along they wouldn’t be down for anyway. If she’s bi, better to stick with the ugly bit.
Secondly, your winger has got to stay in the game. The main job of a wing man or woman is to buffer the awkward moments that are inevitable in those first few hang outs. In a perfect world you and your interest wouldn’t need anyone’s help. In a perfect world you’d both effortlessly flow from one topic of conversation to the next, never missing a beat.
In a perfect world you’d already be together, idiot. Tonight will not be perfect. So, make sure your winger stays sober enough and present enough to bridge those gaps and lulls in conversation. Pick someone who knows you well, and can pick up where you leave off. Pick someone intelligent enough to change the topic to something more interesting. Work as a team to stay calm and stay smooth.
The third requirement relates closely to the second. In choosing a good winger make sure they know not to push the thing too hard. When you’re off getting another drink you don’t want your wingman gushing over you so much that it seems off putting. Nor do you want those awkward silences to be filled with even more awkward stories about that one time at band camp. Make sure your winger knows the difference between funny and uncomfortable, between compliments and a sales pitch.
Lastly, make sure your winger knows when to call it quits. If things are going well for you give a signal for you wingwoman to call it a night, and leave you and your crush to get down to business. If things aren’t going so well, get your wingman to send you that ‘emergency text’ saying you’ve got to leave early. Regardless of the exact method, talk about about an exit strategy that keeps things kosher with the crush, but feels natural to everyone involved.
Before you know it, it’ll be date 7 and your toothbrush will be in his bathroom!
We recommend you take that new summer boo of yours and hit the open road.July 8, 2011
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