I love that song, “Bulletproof” by La Roux, with the sexy female British voice(Elly Jackson) going “this time baby, I’ll be, bulletproof.” It always resonates with me, the notion that despite past heartbreak, this time, I’m not going to get hurt, my heart is unbreakable now, it cannot be struck by the destructive bullets of love gone array. While the song certainly is catchy, and the notion, sound in theory; for one to actually live a life from an unstruck heart is pretty tricky.
Love is a tricky business in any regard. We all want to be loved, and all want to share love in great relationships, but what is love anyways? When we use the word, we are usually talking about a feeling of joy and wellbeing, often elicited in response to a special someone(or something, “I love that song”). With that second part, the response to some external force, we are already getting off course. But LeVar, you protest, of course I love in response to external forces, how else would I love?
In Sanskrit, the ancient language of yoga, the name for the heart chakra(center of love and compassion) is anahata, which literally translates to English as ‘unstruck’ or ‘unbeaten’. This is specifically alluding to the anahata nada, the unstruck sound, a sound that resounds without apparent cause. There’s no drumstick, no drum, just a sound, resounding ever on, no beginning, and no end. That is what love is, it’s that joy that resounds ever on, with no apparent cause. But LeVar, you might think, that doesn’t sound like love at all, that sounds like some mystical junk, I only love certain things for certain reasons.
That’s not love you’re thinking of, that’s control.
When people get in relationships, we typically choose our partners based on what they look like, what they do, how they act, and all these other characteristics. There are certain qualities that we enjoy, that appease our senses. While that seems to be a perfectly reasonable approach, under closer examination, it’s incredibly egotistical. I love so and so about you. You make me feel so and so. I love it when you do so and so. These are all manifestations of ‘what’s in it for me?’ Before you get defensive, it’s not really all your fault. It’s a cultural thing. We are molded from a very early age to compete for limited resources. There’s only so much food, clothes, shelter and love to go around, so I gots to gets mine! So when we enter relationships(sexual or otherwise), subconsciously we are always scrambling for position, because we think there’s not enough to go around.
You’re wrong. There’s more than enough for everyone.
Here is where I will get mystical. In the yogic point of view, the heart is the seat of our soul, a drop of God. Whether you believe in God in the monotheistic or pagan view or not at all, you’re just going to have to go along with me that everything in our experience is but an expression of the Source(or the Singularity, for my science peeps out there). We are not simply passive expressions of the Source, either, but aspects of the Source Itself, with our hearts as our personal centers of Source. When you can really sink into this idea, live in this idea, feel this idea with every heartbeat and every breath, you realize all the love you seek is already inside of you. You can dip into this well as much as you like, and never run out. It’s infinite. So, how does this make my heart unbreakable, LeVar, you wonder?
No expectation, no disappointment.
If we can let go of our unconscious expectations(if I do so and so, then they will love me), and love selflessly, freely, as a joyous expression of our inner God(dess)ness, then all your interactions are freed from the threat of loss. Because that is ultimately where heartbreak comes from; the idea that you gave your heart(your love) to someone who didn’t honor it. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It may change forms, but it resounds ever on; the wave unbroken.
So let down your armor, the shielding you’ve built up around your heart to protect yourself from pain. It only distorts your feeling capacity anyways. Sense something you like? Go ahead and love the heck out of it(or them)! Just remember you come with your own wellspring of love, forever potent, unstruck!
LGBTQ-specific Homeless shelter next up for unstoppable local trans activist – but she needs your help
It’s not often you meet a woman like Zakia Mckensey, but those who have met her are often doing better because of it. Mckensey, in her early 40s and a lifelong Richmond resident, has been working in HIV/AIDS and transgender support for nearly as far back as she can remember. But now, she’s set a new bar [...]December 5, 2016
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