The Makings Of A Successful Touch Test
Lets be honest, having a crush is like having a f***ing disease! When you’re really into someone you’re racked with such strange sensations that you literally consider your own mortality.
Seriously, you’re going to die right now in a pool of your own crush drool, and you know the only thing that keeps you from drowning in that puddle is the desire to know your crush feels a little something for you too. The question is how do you find out? Do you send an edible arrangement? Overtly admit feelings and see how the chips fall? Bug their phone and wait to see if they ever mention your name? All of these are great ideas, but one full proof plan is to engage in the simple, but effective method of the touch test.
Now, obviously, when we’re into someone our only goal is to feel comfortable enough to invite them up to your place and show them your etchings. But before the big reveal of our truest intentions we have to gauge the feelings of our future ex-boyfriend and properly test the waters. We place a hand on the knee with a joke. We give a gentle touch to the lower back when we open a door for them. We lean in close until our shoulders touch. It’s an amazingly effective way to see if we get something back, as we both read between the lines about where the night is headed. The trouble is knowing when to say enough is enough, or if you’re not the touchy kind, when to dive in and make a move.
A touch test does the work of surmounting the platonic wall in a way that can be both graceful, and yet still full of success. It lets folks know you’re interested without the potential awkwardness of outright admitting your feelings. However, too much touching can send a message that does more work to turn off than turn someone on. If its a proper crush you have on someone heavy testing can say that you’re only interested in a physical interaction. If your crush isn’t just interested in working on her slut game she might become disinterested thinking your intentions are much more superficial than is the case.
She may also unfortunately think you’re just the gross groper sort and file for a restraining order after the second date. I mean, and who needs the hassle, amiright?
To avoid the complications of misinterpretation Booty Jams Podcast recommends an hourly touch ratio of two to one, that is, two touches administered to every one touch received, renewable with every hour. The pursuance of such a method ensures you have enough reciprocal interest to move things forward, and eventually give em all little ‘accidental’ crotch grab after the seventh drink. In addition, if your not the most touchy guy, but you’re getting some physical attention your comfortable with, it pays to return the favor a little to make you’re interest known; without such a return your crush may just stiff you with the tab, and key your car. And I mean, really, who needs the hassle.
It’s always tough to know exactly where the limits are when you’re first starting things off with someone. The pain of wanting to know if they’re as interested as you are is practically palpable. Yet, the beautiful art of body language has enabled us to use the touch test in order to make the process that much less painful. It’s a simple method that can often be overlooked, but with positive results your confidence in where you stand with your crush can reach amazing, and potentially orgasmic new heights.
Use it wisely my friend.
We set our straight guy on the street with a Grindr profile. Part II of what he learns here.February 3, 2012
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