The Gay Guys Guide To Gym Etiquette Vol. IV
Just when I thought it was over, it wasn’t. My work continued to see the good, the bad, and the ugly at gyms in and around the city this week. Now that the weather is getting colder and the sun is setting sooner than ever, people are flocking indoors to the gym and with that comes many “hot messes.” You wouldn’t believe the wrongness going on.
Here are my top five hot messes of the week that you’ve probably witnessed and will want to avoid during your next workout:
- If you can’t get it in the hole the first time… I couldn’t help but notice the cute guy working it on the Precor elliptical. He had his headphones plugged in his iPhone and halfway through his workout, he attempted to plug the headphones into the Precor to listen to the television, but fell short. He missed the hole, but the ground caught him on his way down. Lesson learned, either completely stop working out while you’re on the Precor to get it in the hole or don’t bother at all.
- Awkward conversations on the hamster wheel It seems to me that the gym is now the hotspot to literally “letting it all out.” I don’t think people realize that when they’re on their cellphone on the treadmill that they’re disturbing the entire gym and let alone, that we can hear all the texts you received from last night. If you’re totally open and don’t mind blowing up Johnny’s spot, certainly share. However, you don’t have to yell out so loud where your conversations can be heard all the way to the gym locker rooms.
- Oh “holey” night… I really don’t understand what makes it all right to wear holey clothing to the gym? I don’t care if you’re trying to channel the Incredible Hulk. You look homeless and not cute. Treat the gym as if it were the club and dress to the nines! Next time I see someone with a holey shirt on, believe it that I would be “that person” and I will deliver to you one of my cotton racing T-shirts I picked up to the expo. Save the holey T-shirts for when you wax your car or pledge your countertops.
- Cool Water, Fierce, Drakkar? Not in this house! While you should “dress to the nines” to gym, it doesn’t mean you need to “smell to the nines.” What is it with guys coming in smelling like the sample ads from my GQ magazine? They only thing they should be wearing is the Old Spice and Right Guard. Just imagine a sweaty guy and loads of Abercrombie & Fitch’s Fierce. It’s not cute, it’s just plain stinky! Raise your hand if you’re sure!
- Bring a pitcher of water. Better yet, one of those water gallon bottles. What annoys me the most are the frequent long lines at the water fountain. You know exactly what I’m talking about. For those that require large amounts of water to stay hydrated, seriously consider bringing a water gallon bottle or a camelback. The gym rats and I will stop with the “stink” faces and will greatly appreciate you.
Jason Yu is Partner and Director of Marketing for The Hardwicke Group in Richmond, VA. His company specializes in new media, PR and influence with an emphasis on digital marketing strategy and reputation management. Jason enjoys keeping active by biking, running and working out on a daily basis. Jason has ran in over twenty running races including the Marine Corps Marathon, Tough Mudder, Richmond Marathon, and Xterra races. Interesting facts about Jason is that he is a music fanatic, in search fro the best macaroni and cheese, and aspiring “mixologist.”
For every good workout song there has to be a good cool down song.July 28, 2015
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