The Comfort Level In PDA
Editor’s Note: This is the second in a series of articles on different LGBT experiences regarding public displays of affection. Read the last here.
Public Displays of Affection are a pretty interesting topic. There are so many differing opinions about what’s appropriate.
I start thinking about how comfortable I would be partaking in PDA. How far would I go?
This is where the trouble comes in. I’ve dated girls in the past. I’ve kissed them in public – and no I wasn’t the one at the park bench searching someone for drugs with my tongue!
I’ve hugged them in public and been, in general, very free and comfortable about it.
Back in November I went to a sorority semi-formal as my friend’s date. We were all having fun: drinking, dancing and laughing, then this guy came up to me and tried to dance with me.
I immediately froze up. It was too much PDA. I said, as nice as I could, “I’m sorry I can’t dance with you. I can’t dance with a guy.”
The guy was pretty offended. “You should be sorry!” and walked off.
I have a double standard and an unfair one at that.
I am completely fine seeing PDA of any kind, no matter the person. I won’t be offended by any means.
You could be dry humping your boyfriend or girlfriend in a telephone booth and I wouldn’t flinch – well that’s not true – maybe laugh, but there would be no judgment.
For myself, it’s a different story. And yes, I know it has a lot to do with society’s influence that makes me feel uncomfortable about PDA; but I’m sorry, you won’t see me kiss a guy in public or hold their hand.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule and I know for myself that it would take a big love for me to be comfortable with that.
This is my big conundrum. I know my opinion is hypocritical and I know it sounds horrible to say it in such a black and white way, but it’s how I feel.
It’s a double standard – something I have such strong opinions against, but in this case I guess I’m just not comfortable enough.
And that’s the tricky thing about PDA; you aren’t aware or caring about the people around you – it should be that single moment between you and the person you care about. Everything else is supposed to be drowned out and that’s where I can’t let go.
I’d be waiting for a reaction if someone saw two guys kissing, but when I find that person that drowns everything else out, then you can catch me on that park bench open-mouthed any day!
Justin is a 23 year old senior at Virginia Commonwealth University. He is working on his bachelors in English and looking for Mr. Right. You can read more about his escapades in dating at his personal blog, "A Gay College Guy in Virginia".
On Wednesday, the NBA released its first collection of LGBTQ Pride teeshirts featuring the logos of all 30 pro basketball teams. The line is a collaboration between the basketball league, the Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) and TeeSpring and was released in celebration of LGBTQ Pride Month. This is the first time an [...]June 9, 2016
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