TedonTop: FASHION AND THRIFT
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I’m going to die alone. At least that’s what happens when I encounter this type of experience in which I did. I happened to have one of those moonshine soaked, endless bong rip kind of nights that culminated in a trip to the gay bar and a late night snack break. It was a hazy, half-baked, pseudo-intellectual, insert-witty-euphemism-for-essentially-awkward-and-uncomfortable-sequence-of-events.
I was sexually charged after dancing with a cute boy visiting Richmond from William and Mary as well stoned and drunk. When there was a parting of the group and I was shoved one way or the other by the friends, I chose the road more traveled and went with boy. I most likely had made many snide comments how ‘no single “cool” person went to William and Mary.’ Williawem and Mary.
We end up at 3rd Street Diner eating wonder bread and lukewarm bacon and cheese. I am intermittently making out with this dude in the bathroom.
While at the table, suddenly an asymmetrically cut hairdew-ed acquaintance from earlier in the night pops in fully adorned in something straight out of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s stock information on what ‘dressing well”s definition is. It was as though someone gave him the story of Jesus Christ and told him to literally take his life and duplicate it (if Jesus were some gay taste and culture consultant).
So he says “hi” and I stare into beau’s eyes (let’s just call this boy from William and Mary that, because, in all honestly, that is exactly what I felt he was – I wanted to start throwing around rose pedals and taking bubble baths right then and there when I looked at him).
But Queer-Eye-Christ is still here. He’s persistent, to put it the absolute mildest, to impress kids10 years his junior. Can’t help but think this is why he came to the late night diner venture.
His proceeds to explain exactly how thrift stores (gesturing to what I’m wearing) we’re popularized by New York fashion week. He goes on to tell me that ‘I just haven’t done New York right’. Now he hits way out of left field with this.
I hate bourgeois New York bull shit more than anything. Not impressive. Honti- in the words of RuPaul – I lived in Astoria, Queens and went to school in Union Square. I did shrooms with Pratt Students in the sculpture gardens surrounding the school. I saw Marina Abromovich staring at some other bitch’s eyes at the MOMA. I hung out at the LimeLight with Michael Alig and Peter Gatien.
Ok, maybe that last one was not true.
The point is, it wasn’t that I wasn’t cool enough for New York… New York wasn’t cool enough for me. This gentle trying to defend the beauty of ol’ Gotham to me was – not.
Let’s see… I read Vice Magazine. You work at Redken hair products and don’t even know what Vice is. You shop for John Varvatos pants at INA and think its a deal when you purchase them for 350$. I think it’s a deal when I find an old Furby t-shirt that has effervescent metallics.
There’s a difference between thrift and what this guy does. Let me outline this even more clearly. There is knowing where everybody goes in a different city and going to that same place because it is cool. There also is knowing that there’s places that everyone goes to and then doing what you want because you think it’s fucking cool.
There’s probably not money in it – there’s usually never money in it, but maybe wearing a spandex unitard with horizontal lines coiling around is cool. Maybe it doesn’t fit like a skeleton glove that you bought from Urban Outfitters, but if it did, it would be making money and have to answer to Mercedes-Benz or some shit.
And one last item. Who the fuck wears a clip around bow tie and expects me to take them seriously when they talk about fashion. At least utilize your ‘condo’ to tie it on yourself. I mean, don’t waste all that space. And the orchids your house keeper put up while you were ‘in New York on business,’ they suck. And I don’t care how much you pay the people who revive your orchids for you.
Teddy does sales. Teddy manages our Tumblr - please follow him/us http://gayrva.tumblr.com/
Update: We’ve gotten some questions about this claim and thought we’d clarify. Searching “LGBTQ” on whitehouse.gov yields the message as seen in the top image. The fact checking site Snopes has said the clearing of the website was announced earlier this week and it was made clear the information and sites from Obama’s administration would be [...]January 20, 2017
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