Queer Advice: My sexual identity doesn’t exactly fit in a nice neat little box
Q: So as it turns out, my sexual identity doesn’t exactly fit in a nice neat little box. However, it’s a bit cumbersome to explain, and It’d be nice just to say “I’m x” and have something to point to as an example. I’m a trans-gal who likes guys. I like to touch and feel and do other fun things! However, I don’t like it when other people try and touch me, try and get me off. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort, it just gets really boring really quick, and I’m not able to “release”, so to speak.
I’m pre-op and I don’t have that big of an issue with my genitalia, though I would strongly prefer a switch. I’m not even sure if I’d get that much pleasure from somebody else post-op, as the thought of it doesn’t seem to do much for me. Currently, for the sake of convenience, I’m saying that I’m asexual, but it almost feels like it’d be better to say I’m half-asexual or something! Any thoughts on what might be a good way to sum up my identity?
Lisa Griffin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in the Commonwealth of Virginia and the State of North Carolina. With nearly 30 years of clinical experience, Dr. Griffin specializes in gender identity and sexual orientation issues, working primarily with gender-variant, transgender, and queer people (children, adolescents, and adults) and their families.
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