Question
Loading ...
American Family Denies Family Membership To Lesbian Couple
While trying to renew their family membership last week, Karen Hardison and her partner Amy found American Family Fitness had a strict definition of what they considered a family.
For the couple, life had gotten busy. Between trying to have a child and the day-to-day, they let their gym membership slide.
Fast forward to last week and now with a daughter, the couple looked to renew. They wanted a gym with a pool so their almost five-year-old could begin taking swimming lessons. Amy returned to American Family Fitness’s Northside location on Brook Road to discuss membership.
Karen contacted GayRVA last week to share the couple’s experience.
Her partner Amy was greeted with warmth and hospitality at the fitness center. When she made her request to renew the family membership, she said the salesperson’s face dropped.
“He seemed embarrassed to tell her that we could not join Am Fam as a family,” Karen says. “The best he could offer was for her to join as a single parent with our child and me to join separately.”
GayRVA contacted American Family Fitness to find out their policy on family memberships.
State Matters
“We just base the memberships and guidelines on what Virginia state law calls a family – a woman and a man, a husband and a wife,” James, a membership director at the location, says. “At this present time, we don’t have that because it’s not in the writing of what a family is.”
Karen told GayRVA her and her partner didn’t have a problem renewing their family membership in the past and believes this new stricter policy is discriminatory.
James said some memberships may have slid in the past, but the club tries to prevent abuse of the system from people listing members that are not family.
Northside General Manager DeAnn Estes-Gray says the policy has been enforced for several years. In fact, this has happened before (to another Karen).
“As a general manager, when I am asked about this, I can only refer to the membership agreement,” Estes-Gray says. “It just simply is a married couple as recognized by Virginia state law.
When a gay or lesbian couple is not eligible for the family membership, she says the club offers individual memberships.
Estes-Gray notes that the club has plenty of gay and lesbian members and couples that utilize the individual membership. She ensures that they are never discriminated against using the facilities.
She says in the last year, she knows of two e-mails where perspective members have expressed their dissatisfaction because they are not legally married.
As of publication, club owner Brian Evans did not return calls from GayRVA.
The club, operated by Richmond Fitness, Inc., serves over 110,000 members within its eight locations throughout Fredericksburg and Central Virginia.
“Families Run On A Spectrum”
After being denied the family membership they had hoped for, Amy followed her visit with one to the Weinstein Jewish Community Center. According to the couple, the experience couldn’t have been more different.
“It is self evident and crystal clear to the folks at JCC that we are indeed a family,” Karen said.
Randi Amar, Membership Director at the JCC, says the center understands that families come in all different shapes and sizes.
“There are many ways that families come together. If there is a couple in the same household and they have children, we consider that a family,” Amar says. “Whether it’s gay and lesbian, a grandparent that takes guardianship of the child, or a grandparent that looks over the child. Families run on a spectrum. There’s not just one definition.”
She says the JCC’s stance is not uncommon and is a policy held by most fitness centers – if two people live together and run a household, then they are a family.
Amar says from personal experience of registering members, the JCC welcomes a nicely-sized gay and lesbian population.
“Personally, in the membership office, we love seeing different families,” she says. “We’re a community center, so the more diverse we are, the more beautiful it is.”
While the JCC is not open 24 hours and is slightly more expensive, Karen says the benefits are worthwhile.
“It is a small price to pay for spending our time and money at a place that honors our family.”
Open For Business
When Richmond Balance opened, they didn’t expect to have a family membership. In 2008, the club decided to open up a partnership membership to include everyone. Married, straight, or gay.
As a boutique gym in Shockoe Bottom, club manager Brandyn Webster says they don’t have corporate rules and policies to affect their membership.
“This area, especially downtown and over at VCU – there’s a lot of different ethnicities, people, orientation, and overall diversity,” she says. “From a business standpoint it makes sense – why wouldn’t we make it easy for couples to signup together regardless of who it is?”
At the Richmond Athletic Club, new owner Yedda Stancil doesn’t put a cap on the relationship the family holds.
“The number one reason we decided to do that is because health and wellness is our top priority,” Stancil says. “Your family is not just flesh and blood. It can be people that you care about. Your family gives you support. It’s common sense to me.”
Stancil operated thirteen clubs in DC before moving to Richmond to practice integrated medicine. In May, she moved her practice to RAC and is working towards creating a comprehensive wellness center.
As for Karen and her partner, since speaking out, she has heard from several straight families that plan to drop their membership, write, and protest American Family Fitness’s policy.
While the fitness club can choose their own membership policy, the couple has made it very clear that they have exercised their own power of choice.
Gyms With Gay & Lesbian Inclusive Family Memberships
Gold’s Gym (The Fan, Mechanicsville, Willow Lawn) Two adults living at the same address. Membership policies vary by franchise. Contact gym for specific membership savings. Willow Lawn: (804) 285-4653
http://goldsgym.com
Richmond Balance Two adults living at the same address. For an annual members, family membership can save $10-$20 per month based on type of contract. (804) 343-1234
http://www.richmondbalance.com/
Richmond Athletic Center All families welcome – open to immediate and extended family. Family membership saves $20 to $47 based on length of contract. (804) 355-4311
http://rac4health.com
Weinstein Jewish Community Center Family Membership includes access to the center’s amenities including art gallery, theater, education programs, and fitness classes. Additional fee per person for access to cardio and strength-training equipment. Family membership saves cost at registration. (804)545-8635
http://www.weinsteinjcc.org
YMCA of Greater Richmond A Family Membership includes any two adults living at the same address and their dependents. Family memberships can save $30 – $40 per month. Downtown location (804) 644-9622.
http://www.ymcarichmond.org
Know more? Leave a comment.
Related Stories
Immigration bill excludes provisions for same-sex binational couples
Staff Reports WASHINGTON — Gay rights advocates have expressed disappointment after a bipartisan Senate group’s 844-page immigration bill omitted married gay and lesbian binational couples, leaving out the Uniting American Families Act. While the legislation includes a path to citizenship for many undocumented people, and includes the DREAM Act — which would allow young, undocumented youth (many of whom [...]
April 18, 2013- Salt Lake LGBT Youth Center Denied Ability to Form Boy Scout Troop, April 2, 2013
- Kansas Supreme Court rules non-biological mother has parenting rights, February 25, 2013
- OpEd: Virginia’s Generally Embarrassing Assembly, February 21, 2013
33 Comments
How very, very disappointing to hear! You know I had considered changing to AFF when my membership was up with Gold’s, but having heard this, I feel no motivation whatsoever to change now.
Who is AFF (or really, the bigger question, who is the state) to define what a family amounts to? There are plenty of unique families–gay and straight. They’re alienating a major segment of the population. The “new family” is everywhere these days.
By doing this, AFF is clearly sending out the message that they can afford to lose business. I say good riddance. See y’all at Gold’s!
I’m not shocked. I was harassed by a male member several times to the point where I felt uncomfortable being in the establishment on Brook Road and when I complained to management they said if they didn’t “see it” then there wasn’t much they could do. Of course I was locked into a year long contract so I attempted to go to the Short Pump location and ran into the same stupid guys there, as well as even more ignorant management and this has happened to several of my friends as well. It doesn’t surprise me that since they promote male sexual harassment that they would stand behind Virginia’s backward view about same sex marriages. I ended up ditching the contract and having a lawyer contact them after they threatened to put the remaining balance on my credit report. AF is a meat market, it’s like a singles club and is far from family friendly
Great article Kevin! Good insight to something I didn’t know about.
I must say that I disagree with the statement made by the general manager, “She ensures that they are never discriminated against using the facilities”. When I inquired about a family membership for my partner and myself during a phone converstion I was informed I might need to re-evaluate my lifestyle – how ironic.
We have joined Gold’s Gym (southside locations) and the customer service is night and day. I wish the “plenty” of gay and lesbian members and couples would not renew their memberships!
Not good enough to be a “family” for AFF but good enough to take your money.
I just wanted everyone to know that Midlothian Athletic Club (formerly Robious Sports & Fitness) also has family memberships and recognizes same-sex couples who live together or are married as families. They also have great facilities and low membership fees. My husband and I pay only $59/month for the family membership which includes use of everything (cardio, weights, indoor/outdoor pool, and sauna) except tennis facilities.
ACAC in Chesterfield County off of Robious Road accepts lesbian and gay families. It’s a great facility with a lot to offer.
If a club is privately owned, then they have the right to do as they please. In this case, it’s obvious where the owner’s biases are. Saying that you do as Virginia does just perpetuates the problem – and crying “might be abused” is a joke. Other clubs are doing just fine with it – without “abuse” – and it speaks volumes to me that American Family stands apart with their policies. I wonder what would happen if all their gay employees and members stopped supporting them? It would be amazing how fast their policies would change.
Seems to me that AFF has the right to do what they want as long as it is within the Virginia state law, which it is, so people have the right to choose where they go to the gym, and you have the right to voice your opinion, but they set the rules for their establishment and they have to follow them until they change it, just like the other gyms set their rules….they all will never be the same, the world is not the same where ever you go so don’t expect richmond, virginia to be any different….
Great article Kevin.
Doesn’t surprise me. They’ve held steadfast to this policy for years and no one has bothered to call them out on it….until now.
As someone else mentioned, seemingly every other club defines the couples membership as “Two individuals living at the same address”. Frankly, regurgitating the VERY lame excuse of “Virginia, as defined by law” says to me, at a minimum, that AFF is insensitive to the needs of it’s LGBT members, or worse, believes as a company, that gays and lesbians aren’t equal in their eyes.
Kevin,
Great article. IMPRESSED!
Well as a long time member of the Richmond Athletic Club, my partner and I have felt very welcome for several years, and have a family membership that is cheaper than any other In the area. It is a wonderful, non threatening place to workout.
hooray for american family fitness as a parent with children with memberships at several centers it makes me appreciate aff mor knowing that when i am there with my family (wife and kids) that i dont have to worry about explaining the facts of gays and lesbians to my kids As long as family fitness continues to operate a morally responsible operation i will be a member Go AFF you have many many supporters
Personally most straight people and their families dont want to be around gays and lesbians anyway I f gays and lesbians want to work out so badly why dont they get together and start the gay and lesbian fitness centers they really need to stop trying to convince us that their lifestyle is okay its not and we would prefer not to have it shown in public take it back in the closet where it belongs
Great article! You are so awesome for doing the work that you are doing! And I can say that Gold’s Gym has been super, super nice to me and my partner. Not only did we get a family membership, but the manager went out of her way to express her disapproval of how we were treated at American Family Fitness and to make sure we felt welcomed at Gold’s Gym. I am a loyal Gold’s member now. I firmly believe that my money is my vote and AFF will never get another dime from me!
I work for the location that this happened at. It is an embarrassment and inexcusable. From time to time I see exceptions being made to the so called “rules” and it makes me furious when those who deserve it are denied. I have already signed a cancellation form so that when my membership expires, they will no longer have my business. I am also now looking for a new job. I dont want to be part of a company that does not honor loving families.
I love how American Family falls back on VA state law. Companies should realize that families/partners come in a variety of types, not just an antiquated viewpoint. If that were the case, then more major companies would be following that. when I moved here with my opposite sex partner and he went to work with Verizon, the only way that I could be on his insurance would be if i were a same sex partner, even though T-Mobile in another state recognized our “partnership.” Knew there was one more reason not to like American Family.
regarding the comment about amf being a meat market made me laugh. when i was a member there for 2 years, the only “meat” i saw there was older, out of shape that I had no desire to have. i think most people who go there just go to say they belong to a gym and don’t know what fitness is.
Lloyd up above seems like a sad case, he’ll probably be the one who will be surprised when his wife cheats on him and his child ends up pregnant b/c he can’t “talk about things.” if anything should be outlawed in Virginia, it should be being an idiot!
I’m happy to see so many of my friends, both gay and straight, share this link on their facebook page and express their outrage. Having been a former member myself I can tell you that there is a very significant number of gays and lesbians who are members there. If every one of them were to decide not to renew their membership and explained to management exactly why they are doing so I believe that it would have a significant impact on their bottom line. It would be great to see a mainstream publication like Style magazine expose this to the general public, as I think many of our straight friends would be just as outraged as we are. In the meantime, thanks for writing this article and getting the word out to our community about other gyms that are more welcoming of our community. I think this is one of the best and most significant articles yet written for Gayrva. Keep up the good work Kevin and to everyone who reads this and is equally pissed off please help spread the word though sharing this link on your facebook page!
Thank you for bringing out AFF’s bigoted policy.
Bravo on the added touch in the article to not just expose (quite deservedly) AFF, but to go the extra mile and share info on the gyms in the area that are doing the right thing!
Well hope people cancel their memebership or not renew them. They are are private business and can do as they please. But I can also spend my money where I please.
While I get a business can set their own rules… it’s poor business practice and certainly not industry standard.
Based on their rules, my (opposite sex) fiance and I do not yet qualify for a family membership (we tried as a way to save $$) even though we live together… AFF is closest to our home and we have friends that go. We’re now with Gold’s and make the little bit farther drive. It’s completely worth it. We’ll be staying put and recruiting other AFF members to Gold’s!
I wrote to American Family fitness. you can find the email addresses of each of the Directors on their website. I encourage others do to so also. Particularly members. Here is my letter:
Dear Jill,
I am a member and regular patron of AmFam West End, and I am really upset about the recent media attention bringing to light the discriminatory way in which American Family defines “family”. After reading the article posted on the GayRVA website: http://www.gayrva.com/2010/08/03/american-family-denies-family-membership-to-lesbian-couple/ I strongly believe that defining family according to the legal stance of Virginia state is a cop out. It is American Family fitness’ choice to stand by that (bigoted) view, when they really could define family in a way that suits the families that attend the Gym. Estes-Gray states the obvious in saying that “the club has plenty of gay and lesbian members and couples that utilize the individual membership”. But we do not have a choice? We join on a single membership because your organization will not recognize us as couples and families in the way it does for straight couples. How is this fair? in the year 2010? Really?
It really is insulting given you have so many gay people working with you, and since there are a great many gay people in membership. I seriously recommend that this be reconsidered and your policies changed. Even if you need to require a little more documentation for a gay couple to apply for a family membership. We deserve to be treated equally. And I think it is embarrassing that a a religious organization, such as the Weinstein Jewish Community Center, would offer a lesbian couple and their child a family membership, considering that American Family fitness is a business non publicly or directly connected with a religious order. Other than the argument of Virginia law, what are the other reasons why American Family fitness will not join gay an lesbian families, as so?
I would like to add, that many of your staff have been very approachable and genuinely interested in my life, and often ask after my partner. I have never felt discriminated against directly by any of your staff. Quite the opposite really. American Family fitness staff generally support and embrace homosexual people. But this makes your policy all the more ridiculous. And it is outright discrimination.
I hope you will see that this letter is considered seriously, because I certainly will not be renewing my membership if this policy is still in practice. In fact, it may even be worth canceling my membership if this kind of discriminatory treatment of people is practiced as a so called “family” fitness facility.
Sincerely,
Phil Evans.
it never ceases to amaze me how backward RVA can be sometimes. And using the law to back up a poor business practice! Although a different situation, I have have been frustrated for years that the YMCA does not have a 1 parent/1 child membership. As a single mother I must enroll as an individual or a family, paying the same thing that a family of 4 or more would pay? Come up YMCA, step into the 21st Century.
Wow! That’s exactly what happened to us! We decided to go with Gold’s Gym…glad to see we weren’t the only ones in the “no family” membership rule with them, and glad someone decided to give us all a voice. :)
Thanks for this article and to ConnectRichmond for featuring this story in today’s weekly update. This is important reporting. I’m a Gold’s member anyway, but the next time someone says they’re on the fence, I’m going to add discriminatory policies at AFF to the list of reasons to consider a different gym.
Nicely done, Kevin! I’ve been a RAC member for a number of years; glad to read (but not surprised) that new owners share same philosophy of the previous ones. Shame on AFF – but heartening to read that so many others are more enlightened when it comes to defining “family.”
I had no idea that AF was doing this, and I regularly go to the Northside location. Thank you, GayRVA,com for bringing this story to the community. When my membership is up, I’m moving to Gold’s!
Hey Kevin!
Great to see that you went from The Gavel to writing for good causes such as this! I personally am disappointed in American Family!! I was actually about to join their new Woolridge Road location since I live right beside it but think my money should go to the YMCA that is also right beside me. I am also a leasing consultant for an apartment community and American Family has info that they want us to include in our move in packets but I am now throwing it away! TAKE THAT!
I am thrilled that this has been brought to light. My wife and I had the same problem with AFF several years ago. I spoke to the membership rep and manager about it and got no where. I got the name and phone number of the owner and called him. I explained the plethora of reasons why we should be permitted to join as a family. He replied, “It is my business and I will run it how I want to and I don’t want to allow this.” Neither maturity nor tolerance could be listed among his virtues.
Yea that’s crazy. People got to wake up its a new day. Hopefully soon it will be unlawful for a business to discriminate like that. More power to you!
I fell so sorry for all those people, but I think that is an amazing opportunity for other establisments start to considering open 24h. Why not???
I ALSO HAD THIS SAME PROBLEM AT THE AFF ON BROOK RODE MY WIFE AN I ARE A SAME SEX COUPLE AND IM LEGALLY MARRIED IN THE STATE OF DC I HAVE ALL DOCUMENT SOCIAL SECRUITY CARDS LICENSE ETC CHANGE ( IN THE STATE OF VA) WITH MY WIFE NAME ADDED WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YRS AND HAVE A 3 1.2 TOGETHER AND WAS ALSO TOLD THE SAME BULL I WAS OUTRAGED AND HURT AT THE SAME TIME THAT IN THIS DAY IN AGE PEOPLE CAN STILL BE SO CLOSED MINDED BUT…
Hello all,
We just posted an update to this article. As of Dec. 26, 2011 – American Family Fitness updated their policy.
http://www.gayrva.com/news-views/american-family-fitness-changes-policy-to-include-same-sex-families/