How often do you hide your sexuality?
Read More: Ettiquette, Grindr, Online Dating
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Jon Henry comes from the small town of Washington, Virginia. Xe finished xes degree at the University of Richmond and was named GayRVA.com's Out.Spoken. Richmonder of the Year for 2011. When not in class, xe is either in the studio or rabble rousing with other queer activists. Follow xem on Twitter.
He was beaten nonstop for an entire hour and suffered a bruised diaphragm as a result.
My biggest problem with Grindr is all the racism, internalized homophobia and femmephobia on Grindr?
If I have to read “no blacks, It’s just a preference lol” or “Masc str8 acting u b 2″ one more time, I swear I’m going to lose my mind.
Hooking up with other men is usually a lot of fun and but it definitely isn’t heterosexual. Sorry, straight-actors. A dude with a big ol’ wang in your mouth is gay. Gay, gay, gay.
And don’t get me started on the casual racism that is accepted in this community and then explained away as “just a preference.” Of course, people have sexual preferences, but you can act on them without denigrating entire groups of people.
These issues are the biggest problems on Grindr- not the question of queer spaces- but the heteronormativity and racism queers are capable of.
Wait a minute…I can’t state who I prefer to HOOK UP WITH for NSA sex on Grindr without you thinking this is racist??? I’m not sure how I present myself on Grindr without stating my PREFERENCES!!! I am NOT racist, I am not any of those other words, but I know who I do and do not want to hook up with. I simply say “I prefer white” or something similar. Is this racist? Doesn’t that denigrate every other group of people, however you define “group”?
This poster, anonymous I might add…simply doesn’t get Grindr!
I’m “lordofkobol” on Grindr. Suck on that, anonymity.
No one is saying you can’t have sexual preferences, but you don’t have to be insensitive about how you present your desires.
There is a massive difference between following the objects of your desires on one hand, and stating to the whole world just how unattractive you find certain races on the other.
Saying “whites only” or “no blacks” or “no Asians” is an extremely negative and demeaning way of expressing your sexual desires.
It causes immeasurable psychological harm to the racial subsets within the gay community who bare the brunt of these statements.
How many times do you see “no whites” or “no masc guys?” Maybe .0000002% of the time, but I see countless profiles that say “no blacks” or “whites only.”
You can- and I know this is an easy thing to do- simply ignore or block people you don’t want to hook up with WITHOUT being racist in how you present your preferences.
And I don’t get Grindr? I know how the damn block function works.
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