“The longing for destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life.” -Alain de Botton
The time has come that I share with all of you what happened with the girl that I had been dating for the past couple months. As I have shared previously things between us moved at the speed of light. We “clicked” instantly, in the way that only happens a couple of times in a lifetime. She gets me and I get her, sometimes nothing even has to be said, because we get it. A connection like that is rare, and special and in theory should be enough to sustain a relationship. In theory.
In real-life, there are complicated threads when two people join forces and the connection is so intense. Sometimes the past begins to filter in and it becomes impossible to ignore. Unfinished relationships that came first, personal goals that need to be met, and hard decisions that need to be made. It’s ironic how something that seems like it should be so easy, becomes so complicated.
With all of this in mind, we did end the romantic relationship between us. However in this time we both gained best friends that we deeply missed having. When you go from adolescence into adulthood and from college into real-life, some of the friends and connections you once had are lost.
I have learned that it is much more complicated to meet people you want to be friends with once you are older. When the rare moment hit that we met, there was a reason. It may not work romantically now or ever however; this is the kind of friendship that one craves but is rare to find.
When I think of the breakups of my past, they are messy and full of hurtful words. This is different and sometimes I think it is insane. I also think that is one of the most powerful things about being a woman. We have the power to feel deeply. Forgive. And love even when that love is different than how we pictured it in the beginning.
While there is always the desire that things will work out when you are dating someone, sometimes destiny moves in unpredictable ways. We are human, and as humans we are resilient creatures. We make choices sometimes that are difficult, but in the end they are right. Because we are resilient day-by-day the heartache of this breakup turns into the laughter of honest friendship. Sometimes that friendship is what gets you through the day-to-day.
Lucy Lipstick blogs about her experiences from a lesbian perspective every Friday on GayRVA.