I’m done with online dating
I’ve deleted the apps…. Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, Tinder, OKCupid (though I’ll admit… I do still look on OKC via the actual website from time to time)… but I’m done with mobile dating.
Really, I’m kind of over everything mobile… except Instagram and Facebook (that addiction will never die), and rarely Twitter.
I just realized that I was losing too much time on 10+ apps per day and not actually living life.
I think we are all guilty of it – mobile addiction. The “selfie” has taken our narcissism to an all new level. Even I am extremely guilty of this social-norm, but duck face needs to die.
While I am all about capturing exciting moments in life, are we really enjoying life or are we in constant “snap” for the perfect “selfie”? We have to look skinny, hair cute, good light… look natural ::click:: – NO; you don’t look natural ::click::, ACT MORE NATURAL… ::click::… ok, that is perfect.
We appear to be having the best time ever (even if we had to take the picture 10 times to look like we are having fun).
Wait… was what were we actually doing that fun?
The cell phone has allowed us to never have to speak to anyone in person at all. We can text, snapchat, instant message, tweet, twerk, you name it. I know couples who will text each other when they are in the same house, sometimes even while in the same room.
The one thing that no one seems to do on their phone anymore is actually talk…. well, unless they are in the car – but that is a completely different rant for another day.
So I’m taking a step back! I’m going back to a time when my life was much simpler.
As far as dating, I am going to stop the mobile app hunt. When I meet someone, it will be natural; out doing stuff I like to do, stuff that they are out doing as well.
Maybe we will even start out by saying, “hello” in person, with words coming out of our own mouths and not a “beep” notification sound on a phone. Follow that with real conversation, in person, where you can see the person’s eyes, their facial expression… and see if they actually “LOL.”
I remember a time when we didn’t live life by looking through the camera of a cell phone. Where people would get engaged in private interactions, not via flash mob with 20 people recording it. Remember when people would take their love somewhere special and share that moment with them and only them?
It also makes for a story that they can share with their friends and families, not just say, “Well, just look it up on my YouTube channel.”
Now going to weddings, concerts (even funerals) people have phone in hand, snapping pictures and video. There is a small push now of people who are telling guests at weddings to put their phones away.
Enjoy the ceremony… let the photographer (who was paid lots of money by the couple) snap the photos.
So I am claiming it. I’m coming out with it. I’m old fashioned, maybe just getting old.
But I think it’s time to put the phones away. Go outside, breathe some fresh air, play a board game with a group of friends, send a letter (actually written… on paper!), go up to someone you find attractive and say hello.
I am challenging people to put the phone down and actually live life – if you do need to capture the moment, take one picture – because that is your truth, not the 10 you tried afterword.
Bill Johnson is a Detroit native. A Zoology major, Johnson has lived in many cities and states, but calls RVA home.
He was beaten nonstop for an entire hour and suffered a bruised diaphragm as a result.March 4, 2016
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