It seems that with lesbians time moves at a different speed. We have all heard the U-Haul jokes; I have made plenty of them myself. Being a very self-sufficient woman that loves my independence I never thought I could fall fast and hard for someone. A few weeks ago when I set out to write this column the goal was to write about my dating experiences and meeting people in Richmond, never thinking that I would actually meet someone I wanted more than a cocktail with.
The one question I keep asking myself is, “Why do lesbians move at the speed of light?” With my straight friends, gay friends and everyone else it seems that they can take their time, get to know someone in small doses. With lesbians it seems that it works differently. We want to know everything about one another, do everything, and we want it now. In the past I have been one to take things slow and let everything come together. However I have become the girl that I always crack jokes at, the one that is falling fast and unable to stop. Why do we, lesbians, move so fast?
With the blink of an eye I went from single to off the market. With all of this comes fun times, comfort, and prospect of what is to come. On the other side there is also a fear. With any relationship it means taking a risk. By putting yourself out there, you must be somewhat vulnerable to let someone else get close. The risk is always there that they may leave or hurt you. Letting someone else into your world, tangling two people’s lives together is always exciting but nerve-wrecking. What happens if it doesn’t work?
Maybe moving at the speed of light isn’t the worst thing. After all if you meet someone that is worthwhile, why not jump in? As long as you were happy before they came along, you will be ok if they are not there one day. On the other hand if you always hold back then chances are you will be alone for a long time.
There was a story in Vogue a few years back about a woman that fell in love with her husband on their first date, they married soon after, and have been together for years. She said, “Love is not science, like physics or biology. Love is more like art. You see a painting and you know whether it works right away. You don’t have to stare at it for years….”
Perhaps in her past life she was a lesbian, and understood the speed of light too.
Lucy Lipstick was once a single girl, living in Richmond. She found love, and could no longer write about the meeting and greeting of prospective dates. Now she is living life, and writing about the everyday things that occur in the life of a lipstick lady living in the RIC. E-mail Lucy at firstname.lastname@example.org.