While watching an episode of True Life on MTV, a question sat on my conscience until it was time for me to go to bed. However I couldn’t go to bed with this on my mind, so I got up to write about it.
Because it has taken me so long to find a significant other, I always fear that once I finally find the one they’ll be taken away from me.
I’ve seen others cope, but am I that strong? I’ve seen others shut down, but will I? Growing up my self-esteem was so low that the minute I achieved a scintilla of happiness, I felt that it would be taken away from me abruptly. Almost like I wasn’t deserving of happiness, so the minute it happened I’d lose it. But why was I like this? Past experiences have shown that nothing like that has ever happened, but the thought still lingers in the sinews of my mind when I’m happy.
Which leads me to the point of this post.
One of my worst fears is losing the love of my life; not dying alone, but losing someone whom I’ve invested a life with.
Is it truly better to have loved and lost? Personally I think it’s worse to lose the love of your life than to never experience love. It’s like you get a taste of something that you really like and, before you know it, it’s taken away. Love is addicting. Well the idea of love is addicting, so using my logic is it better to go through withdrawal than to never be addicted in the first place? Is it truly better to lose the love of your life than to never love at all?
Born and raised in Petersburg, VA, Anthony works as a State Farm Account Representative in Enterprise Rent-A-Car's Insurance Operations Department. In his spare time he can often be found wandering aimlessly, with camera in tow, snapping away. He's also a member of, the Richmond-based, Fools Day Comedy Troupe. Read his personal blog here and follow him on Twitter.