Avoiding the “Friends Zone”
I’ve had many conversations with friends regarding “The Friend’s Zone.” But why is it that some encounters ultimately diverge on the friendship path? Is it something that we’re doing or is it the other person? Are signals of attraction being confused with those of friendship?
Perhaps the other person just isn’t attracted or doesn’t want to be in a relationship? Whichever the case, “The Friend’s Zone” affects anyone from the social butterfly to the socially inept. But what can we do from day one to ensure that attraction doesn’t take a hard left to friendship?
From personal experience, I tend to keep correspondence to a minimum if I’m attracted. That way it leaves the other person in the dark, while I plot my next move.
It also gives me time to gauge whether there may be mutual interest or not. I hate to sound shallow, but aesthetics matter. If you blow your interview, don’t expect a callback, right? That’s why you should always strive to look your best.
It doesn’t matter what you have on as long as you put your best foot forward. I’ve seen women go to the Laundromat with ponytails, tights, and t-shirts and still look nice. But I digress…
Since I’m also a very mental person (take it any way you like), I like to get into the minds of the people I’ll eventually pursue. If I don’t sense mutual attraction, I won’t go for it. However someone that’s overly aggressive is also a turn-off . That’s why I tend to go for people that are in the middle like me.
With that said, my advice in avoiding the dreaded, “Friend Zone” is as follows:
Tips to Avoid the “Friend’s Zone”
- Pursue from a distance. Being overly aggressive is a sign of desperation and who wants to be with someone that desperate? (Don’t answer that question.)
- Get a feel of the person you’re attracted to and make sure there is mutual interest before you go any further.
- Don’t bombard them with relationship questions! (See #1)
- Stick to your game. If you started off aloof, then don’t switch up when you notice that there is mutual interest. (Also see #1)
- Keep it cool and stay true to yourself. Never start a relationship with a lie. Those are just doomed from the start.
Born and raised in Petersburg, VA, Anthony works as a State Farm Account Representative in Enterprise Rent-A-Car's Insurance Operations Department. In his spare time he can often be found wandering aimlessly, with camera in tow, snapping away. He's also a member of, the Richmond-based, Fools Day Comedy Troupe. Read his personal blog here and follow him on Twitter.
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