Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Stars: Justin Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment
While watching this movie, I couldn’t figure it out: starts as a creepy thriller (with nods to “Human Centipede), tosses in campy elements and features several extremely verbose rants (featuring an uncredited Johnny Depp in heavy disguise…again). Then I discovered it was written/directed by Kevin Smith, which explains a lot. Justin Long plays a podcaster who travels to Manitoba and discovers a man with eloquent stories, only to find himself captive and turned into a walrus. This bizarre curiosity offers some fun, but lots of head-scratching. Ultimately, it’s too self-indulgently talky and downright silly. NOTE: Stay thru the credits to hear Smith in the actual podcast that served as the inspiration AND to see Depp in one final gag.
GAY ANGLE: Long does spend some time shirtless before his transformation.
Field of Lost Shoes
Director: Sean McNamara
Writers: Thomas Farrell, Thomas Farrell
Stars: Lauren Holly, Jason Isaacs, Nolan Gould
This is based on the true story of young Virginia Military Institute cadets who fought in the Civil War Battle of New Market. The story and situations are leaden with clichés, most characters lack much personality and the battles scenes are a confused mess (not to mention the ludicrous CGI landscapes). The performances are earnest, but the hokey dramatic moments strain their credibility. The scene at the river has to be the most egregious: 3 of these shirtless men have buff Abercrombie & Fitch bodies (see photo), instead of more period-appropriate skinny frames. The direction is adequate and the look is average, but the simplistic approach makes it feel like a tourist attraction tribute.
GAY ANGLE: Even though I complained about the appropriateness of those buff bodies, they sure were hot!
Jerry Williams reviewed movies for WTVR-TV for 14 years and for Style Weekly for 10 years. When he launched his own website in 1998 at TVJerry.com, he took his reviews to the Internet. Through those hundreds of reviews, Jerry kept his sexual orientation muted. So, he's excited to be adding "gay angles" to his postings for GayRVA.com.