Director: Stuart Beattie
Writers: Stuart Beattie (screenplay), Kevin Grevioux (screen story)
Stars: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Miranda Otto
It’s still January and this already qualifies as the worst movie of the year! Aaron Eckhart plays the classic monster all buffed up 200 years later. There’s some narrative blur about gargoyles and demons fighting over the fate of humanity, but it’s a jumbled mess. The action is just as confusing and the design looks like a dark, unoriginal video game. The only thing to recommend this movie is one scene with Eckhart shirtless, but I’ve included it in this review, so you can spare yourself the agony.
GAY ANGLE: Eckhart is seriously buff, but enjoy online photos and save your money.
The Invisible Woman – The true story of Charles Dickens’ mistress
Director: Ralph Fiennes
Writers: Abi Morgan (screenplay), Claire Tomalin (book)
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Felicity Jones, Kristin Scott Thomas
A lovely young woman (Felicity Jones) finds herself in a controversial affair with Charles Dickens (Ralph Fiennes, who also directed). Actually, the whole thing is her flashback, but it doesn’t really matter…it’s pretty insipid either way. This period piece is beautifully-made, but its roots in a time of repressed emotion leaks into the film itself. It’s so genteel, quiet and subdued, which translates into slow and dull. The performances are fine and the cinematography is pretty, but it’s just too tamped down to ever rouse much emotional fervor.
GAY ANGLE: Even by “daddy” standards, Charles Dickens was not hot.