The Gay Guys Guide To Gym Etiquette (Round 2)
I guess you can say we’re officially into 2011 and you’ve probably noticed the “revolutionaries,” you know, those people that claimed they would hit the gym hard and lose the pounds, have suddenly disappeared freeing up the elliptical and exercise machines.
Well, what I thought would only be a single top ten list of violations at the gym, has severely increased into another list of violations I’ve seen lately at my place of worship. Here we go with another top ten list of mistakes you’ve probably been guilty of and unfortunately witnessed while working out at the gym.
10. Marking my territory Okay, we get it. You like to workout, but that doesn’t mean you own that exercise machine. I didn’t see your name on it? Is it bad luck to not work out on the same elliptical or treadmill every time I work out? If it’s available, you should be able to work on the machine, right? Having someone ask you, “hey, that’s my treadmill,” is just plain wrong!
9. Turn off It’s a turn off when someone doesn’t clean the exercise equipment, but it’s even more of a turn off when someone leaves the machine or TV running. I’m sorry, I don’t want to start off, where you left off and I’m certainly not interested in watching who the father isn’t today on Maury Povich. Be courteous and turn both the machine and TV off when you’re done. Don’t forget to sanitize, too!
8. Leave it in the locker room I don’t understand why people wear their jacket, take it off, and leave it hanging when they run on the treadmill. The gym has a controlled temperature and you know you’re most likely going to keep warm and sweat while you run. The jacket is just going to fall onto the treadmill and go bye bye. Leave it in the locker room, the coat rack, or wrapped around your hips. Jacket’s can be just as hazardous on the treadmill and the people around you.
7. Moist towelette? If you’re prone to sweating a lot, bring a towel! It’s not cute to see sweat dripping off of your face and body unless you’re at the club (for some, it’s a turn on), but please, grab a towel. If you have a classified “hot bod,” it’s okay to lift up your shirt and wipe away the juice, I strongly encourage. If you don’t have a “hot bod” (hot bod in training), please, please do not lift up your shirt. Just have a towel immediately in reach!
6. Mind your own beeswax Have you ever been on the elliptical or treadmill and someone just naturally goes next to your machine (even though there’s five other unoccupied machines) and their wandering eyes become obsessed with your progress. Yeah, they’re labeled a creeper and weirdo. It’s what my mother calls a “peeping Tom.” Just be polite and say “Excuse me peeping Tom, I don’t appreciate you looking at the 20 miles I’ve done in 15 minutes on the elliptical.” If, he/she does not peer away, proceed to yell “stranger, danger!”
5. Food talk fail If you’re talking out loud about seriously going to McDonalds after working out at the gym, just don’t even come back or be in my presence.
4. This isn’t American Idol Just because we all have our earphones on, doesn’t me we can hear you sing. It may look like you have a good singingvoice, but really you don’t and this isn’t the time or place to unleash your wickedly horrible talent. I’m being completely honest. Save it for the shower or better yet, in your mind!
3. Don’t salute your shorts There’s a problem when you notice a bulge or something, somethings poking or popping out of one’s gym shorts. It could be either a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
2. Cell out Okay, I am guilty of bringing my cell phone to the gym, but that’s because I use it as my training log and I log my performance after I hop off the exercise machine. I reserve answering, making phone calls, even sending text messages after leaving the gym itself. You know why? You wouldn’t believe how many people and their cell phones fall and fling off while they’re on the machines. I wish dents and scratches on their cell phones. They deserved it.
1. Don’t bite off more than you can chew Self explanatory, but for example, if you’re 100 pounds and you’re trying to bench 200, don’t even. If you’re trying to sweat as much as John over there, don’t even. Finally, If you’re trying to compete with me to run six miles straight on the treadmill, don’t even.
Jason Yu is Partner and Director of Marketing for The Hardwicke Group in Richmond, VA. His company specializes in new media, PR and influence with an emphasis on digital marketing strategy and reputation management. Jason enjoys keeping active by biking, running and working out on a daily basis. Jason has ran in over twenty running races including the Marine Corps Marathon, Tough Mudder, Richmond Marathon, and Xterra races. Interesting facts about Jason is that he is a music fanatic, in search fro the best macaroni and cheese, and aspiring “mixologist.”
For every good workout song there has to be a good cool down song.July 28, 2015
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