There are turning points in life that we know we must take. Decisions that need to be made, responsibilities that need ownership, and truths that should be told. It is all part of the grand scheme that makes us “adults.”

I have never had a problem with taking on responsibility or making decisions; however, I am finally at that place I have been avoiding since I was 13… Coming out to my mother. It is not like she doesn’t know, she has since I was 13; however, I have never sat down and told her one-on-one that I want to be with women.

The time seems to be upon me. I have been thinking about it a lot in the past months and I know that until it is out in the open with my family, I will always feel as if I am leading a double life.

I know that no matter what I tell my mother she will love me and want me to be happy, so why is it so hard to actually sit down and have the conversation with her? For years we have played the game of pretending the other one does not know; however, my mother knows me too well and has hinted too many times at the fact that she knows.

I want to be open about this with my family because I am at a point that everyone else around me knows. I feel as if I am hiding from my family and it makes me feel horrible, because we are close and usually share everything.

Even though I think that my mother will accept me no matter what, I fear that the relationship we have now will change. She may not speak to me the same way; it may never be the same. It could also be better, more honest and grown up.

I am happy with the person I am, I can deal with my faults but also know my strong points. Still no matter how old I get there is the girl in me that wants nothing more than my parent’s approval. I guess that is what comes with having parents that were always there for you.

Once everything is out in the open with parents, I think it is important to normalize it. Bring up significant others, be honest about what you are doing, keep the relationship you had with the family before, but be all inclusive with your romantic relationships and dating. If I am not honest about it, they may never get used to the idea.

This may be one of the hardest things that I ever say aloud to my mother, but it will also be one of the most honest and freeing. I am walking into this knowing that no matter the reaction, or what is said, the person that I am now is the person I will be after.

I hope that I have the love, support and friendship I have always had with my mother in the past, after I come out. However no matter what, at the end of the day being honest with myself and not trying to be anything else is thing that matters most.

Lucy Lipstick blogs about her experiences from a lesbian perspective every Friday on GayRVA.

Lucy Lipstick was once a single girl, living in Richmond. She found love, and could no longer write about the meeting and greeting of prospective dates. Now she is living life, and writing about the everyday things that occur in the life of a lipstick lady living in the RIC. E-mail Lucy at lipsticklucy11@gmail.com.